Middle of the Road

There have been several times in my life where I have taken pause to examine the path that I am on, where it has taken me, and where it leads. Those are landmarks for me, and most often I can recall those times with vivid detail. As I look around now, I see that the "importance" question resonates more deafeningly now than ever before and I suspect that will be the case at each stop along the way.

I wonder how I will assess this path in three years time.

It occurs to me that some are often troubled by the habitual nature of our daily lives, and the repetition involved in maintaining a stable life. Save for the filthy rich, and boo to them, most of us are solidly based in a series of events that become more uniform each day. It's a question of efficiency really. How do I get the most out of each day. It requires a certain routine and structure, and often robs us of spontenaity and verve.

Therein belies the question that we struggle with when we take in the paoramic of our lives.

"Is this really what I am suppossed to be doing?"

It is purely selfish. There are no two ways about it. The very question discounts the lives and love of the ones we have chosen to surround ourselves with, but all the same, there is the question.

"What would I be doing if...?"

Its like dreaming of the lottery, but in a dirtier, less fantastic way. It is how we question what we are and what we are to become.

I have always taken comfort in the knowledge that I was meant to be a father and that I have always, in one way or another, been driven toward a family life. Those bonds have produced meaning in my life that I did not possess before, and still, what else might I have become?

I wonder how long it will be that my 13-year old daughter will push me away and how will I manage the heartbreak that her push causes. It is age appropriate, but it still kills me.

I wonder if I will ever be as close to my 8-year old daughter, remembering how close I was to her sister, and I know that my work will prevent that opportunity for some time. I am simply not there to achieve that bond.

I wonder if my wife loves me enough to stay with me all my days, and will she be there when I am no longer the man she has created in her head (thank god for imagination and low expectations).

I guess I wonder if I will be alone and if it will matter that I loved these people in the only manner I know how.

This has been a tough landmark so far.

"You're Not A Kiss Ass"

The Amazing Dentist has two Amazing children. One of them is a delightful young lady who is dating a non-Asian male. She no likey non-Asians.

The Amazing Dentist shared with the Amazing daughter that the boyfriend was a "suck-up."

The Amazing daughter shared the news with caucasion boyfriend. The college kids are crazy with the information they share.

The white boyfriend was enjoying dessert at the Amazing's house after the afore mentioned psychedelic Turkey dinner and had the occasion to say to Mrs Amazing,

"I hear you think I am a kiss-ass."

Not a beat ensues...

"I never said you were a kiss-ass. I said you were a suck-up."

Wine was enjoyed by all!

The Amazing Dentist and The Psychedelic Turkey

Okay, I can't believe I have never shared this lady before, but, here is Dr...The Amazing Dentist.

My wife works for an Asian dentist who is, shall we say, unique. The stories I hear and my visits to the office have been true ecstasy. You can't make this stuff up, and so, I share an "Amazing Dentist Thanksgiving."

The doc is preparing Thanksgiving with her dentist husband for her 90+ year-old in-laws. Both of them.

Imagine being married for two years and your spouse's parents are coming over for the first time. Apparently that feeling never changes.

The Amazing Dentist and her husband are preparing Thanksgiving dinner and as they prepare their Turkey some interesting happenstance occurs.

If you buy a turkey it will generally come with a bag that locks in succulent moisture. You make some slits to insert flour to keep tha bag off the bird, but the Amazing Dentist and her husband trust bags little.

In an effort to astound the in-laws she decides that it will be necessary to keep the bag off the bird and searches out tooth picks as a tent pole of sorts. The only picks she can find are an assortment of bright colors. Can you guess the consequence. It was a colorful Thanksgiving.

Even better though was the fact that the Amazing Dentist cut herself during some process of domestic preparation and applied a band-aid upon her wound. After preparing some wonderful Butternut Squash soup with a stick blender it became apparent that said dressing for said wound was said MISSING! Es no bueno!

The Amazing Dentist notified her grown and college attending (which means not really grown) children of said lost dressing and that they should avoid the soup. Everyone searched for the multi-colored band-aid, but to no avail.

The in-laws enjoyed the soup immensley. The children, grown though they be, had none. They were full. Not of dressing. They were seated next to the grandparents and instructed to keep a look out for said dressing. How would that work?

"Grandma look! THERE'S SANTA CLAUS!" Quickly grab said wound dressing and swallow.

Toodles.

Tina Fey

I am not sure how anyone else sees this, but Tina Fey is dyno-mite! Smart, attractive, nice skin...what's not to like? I have one question though, have you seen the calves on that mommasita? Wow! She got some hips on her. I love the way she looks in glasses.

I kept my eyes open just long enought to see Adam Sandler get dumped by Drew Barrymore again on a beautiful tropical island. I love that movie. I laugh everytime the penguin ducks beneath the oncoming car. Drews car.

Work is driving me nuts. I took this new, super busy restaurant, and it is driving me crazy! I am about as messy as a person can be, but at work, Mr. Structured. So, at work, at this busy restaurant work, in this shining, yet ailing behemoth of a restaurant, I am going crazy.

I think the state asks themselves every year, how the hell did those kids get by? Oh well, give the bastards a diploma. It's too much trouble not to (the colleges say that anyway). Same thing goes for my managers. I mean, come on! I can't be too specific, but jeez, how did he get by?

It's hard to remain centered and genteel when you want to strangle people for being dim. Dim is something they aspire to.

Anyway, Tina Fey is great and work sucks. Today work sucked. Tomorrow Work will be work. And Tina will still have over sized calves, funny, and pretty hot. Thanks Tina.

Toodles!

Oh, the spell checker sucks on this thing.

The criminal

My youngest, Alaini, is becoming a klepto.

In Alain's class her teacher has "Colitti Cash." It is incentive script that can be used to purchased worthless items that have trumped up percieved value. Kids are so dumb. I have a couple of rocks that I am going to give her for painting the house next week.

Anyway, Alaini was down to one measly dollar and decided to kipe some other kid's mullah. She got busted and sent to the hoosegow. She was assigned the rear most table in total isolation. Now, I know, morality and ethical lessons and all, but, damn I giggled. I bet I won't be laughing when she figures out how to pilfer my ATM card.

It's hard to have a conversation with her about it. It would take too long to explain presicely why, suffice it to say Alaini has her own perspectives. She is a great kid, kind and warm, but societal boundaries kind of evade her. I worry about her sometimes, but I am at a loss as to how to affect change in her. She is also so damn funny and open about it. She will tell you, very frankly, why she did what she did, and sometimes she can even verbalize her thought process. Usually it comes down to impulse control and that is how I know she is not behaving maliciously. Still, I see broken window screens and mommas crashed car in her future. Can you say hellion?

Toodles!

So, I guess this is the coolest hotel in Burbank. It also happens to be one of the cheapest, so yeah, it's pretty cool. It's got wireless, and now I can steal it when I need to. Sweet!!

I also enjoy the fact that it is kind of old. I won't feel bad about leaving a damp towel on the bed if they don't feel bad about the peeling paint. Even Steven.

Amy, my betrothed, keeps asking me why I never write about her. It's not that I never write about her, it's just that I don't share her with the world. You know those guys that come up and can't contain their exhuberance as they say, "Dude, look at the picture my girlfriend sent me." Your picture of your naked girlfriend makes me ashamed of you. And she's pretty hot too so you don't deserve her, except she sent you naked pictures, you two aren't married, so maybe that's what she gets. Let me see that phone again!

I wouldn't know what to say really, without it feeling contrived. I don't write about my feet and my hair either, but they are central and everpresent in my daily life too. I guess she is looking for the "ode to my wife" stuff, but I much prefer the, "My wife gave herself poodle hair yesterday." She really did, by the way. Shirley Temple never had so many curls.

I guess sometimes the ones closest to those of us that would like to consider ourselves literary may not always get how it works. I don't always write about the most important things, and when I do, I don't necessarily want to share them. Some things belong to just me.

Speaking of sharing...segue...I have a very long time friend who is into..."Sharing." I never really was able to grasp that concept. She and her husband are "open" to experiences, and I always was baffled by how that could work. I, like most males, might find your spouse attractive, but someone is donating an appendage before he gets close to my wife with anything other than a message for me.

Maybe I'm prudish.

Still, the thought that a person would willingly share their "other" with someone else is...it makes me feel pukey. We talked about it once, my friend and I. We e-mailed actually. It's a more open conversation that way. She spoke reasonably about her belief, and I passionately about my incredulity, but there was no meeting of the minds. She mentioned I might be a little insecure. Guess so. My wife's still staying home with big daddy. You can keep your wife too. Even Steven!

Toodles!

Jason said the last four on the list were jumbled and, instead, should have just said;

"Me me me me me...."

Thanks Jason.

Me me me me....

;)